Where there was a fixed interpretation “lack of confidence”, a learning curve appears. Maybe you have already observed how “having a lack of confidence” moves toward a description of a concrete experience or behavior.
I would also feel relaxed and quite happy that I was there. They would smile back and feel relaxed, too. They would see me smile at them and answering their questions without hesitation.Īnd how would the audience respond to that? What would the audience notice about you that would tell them that you are saying to yourself that you are well prepared and you think things will probably go all right? I’d be sleeping the night before and I would be saying to myself that I am well prepared and that even though I’m a little bit nervous, things will probably go all right. I wouldn’t be so nervous before presentations, my hands wouldn’t be sweaty and I could sleep the night before. Suppose you had more confidence, what would tell you that you suddenly had more confidence? I would really love to present at this conference, but I lack self-confidence! It’s always been so hard for me to do anything in public, because of this lack of self-confidence. One way of making things easier is by acting as a “solvent” for fixed descriptions, a liberator from the “tyranny of now”. Our job is to make it as easy as possible for people to develop into the direction that they want to be developing in. When clients come to us, whether we are coaches, managers, HR-people or team coaches, we are tasked with helping people change. We extrapolate from what we are observing “now”, pretend that it is always going to be like that, lock the door and throw away the key – that does sound like tyranny, doesn’t it?
We describe something that is by its nature changeable as fixed. When we turn descriptions of current behavior or experience into things, we solidify them. “So how does this relate to the tyranny of now?”, you might ask.
In these two cases not only is behavior or experience phrased as if it was a thing but it is also used to define a class of human beings (with little hope that they can move out of that class). The same with “low performers” and “introverts”, where it’s implied that there is a thing called performance or introversion. An interpretation of an experience or behavior is turned into a state or a thing. You can have less or more of it, and abundance or lack of it. When someone says that they “lack confidence”, the image of “a thing” called confidence comes to mind. As a coach and mentor coach I often hear self-descriptions or descriptions of others in such not very helpful terms. “I lack self-confidence!”, “I am an introvert, “She is a low performer” - All these statements support the “tyranny of now” and impede the liberating power of “yet”.